Why, Lord? Part 1

~ the question ~

Even after more than twelve years of walking with the Lord, even after stubbornly believing when I couldn’t yet see, even after seeing God’s steadfast faithfulness in all circumstances, there are still times when I find myself asking, “Why, Lord?”

Waves crashing on Jasper Beach, Machiasport, ME.
waves crashing and tumbling along the shore, Jasper Beach, Machiasport, ME

My tone has changed, over the years…

I can remember those moments of desperation in my early walk, when I would cry out, “Why, Lord?” with a deep-rooted fear…fear that I was too lost or too broken, and may simply be beyond all hope of rescue…

Today, when I have reached the end of some particular rope I still ask, “Why, Lord?”

But instead of a desperate, deep-rooted fear there is a stubborn, deep-rooted comfort. Now that I know Who God is and believe all that He has promised, there is a still, small, unshakeable certainty in the deepest corner of my heart, even when a whirlwind of stormy chaos rages all around it. It is the certainty that I am never too lost or too broken, and that eternal rescue is always waiting only-just-over a certain horizon.

For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.

(2 Timothy 1:12, KJV)

That still, small certainty has a name. His name is the Holy Spirit, and as I have walked with Him, He has become the anchor for my soul.

Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil…

(Hebrews 6:19, KJV)

But still, because I am only a child and my sight is imperfect and this world is dark, the question remains. It is a more submitted question, a more patient question, a more quietly searching question…

Why, Lord?

up next: Why, Lord? Part 2 ~ correction and rejection ~

by Sydney Michalski

2 thoughts on “Why, Lord? Part 1

  1. I feel like the question I find myself asking is “what are you trying to teach me, Lord?” or something along those lines. I know that was how I felt last year when our church was going through some trying times, and my husband being a deacon was thrown in the thick of it all with having to help lead the church as our (now former) pastor was going through some dark times mentally and spiritually. I can say that I saw our faith in God grow in a new way as well as our relationship as husband and wife. The Lord can always bring something good out of bad. 💕

    1. That is so true! I definitely also find myself asking sometimes “what are you trying to teach me?” I find myself always searching for God’s truth in the midst of what’s happening, knowing that in His time He will lead me through all the truth that He has prepared for me in this experience. And there is definitely, no matter how painful, always growth and I always ultimately see the good. I’m grateful for this consistency, because whenever I’m in the middle of some new learning I can always reassure and comfort myself through the difficulty be recalling how it has always, invariably come out to the good! I am sorry that you guys had to go through that church experience – but I’m also happy for you because I know how important it can be to learn the truth in both the hard times and the good times!

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